Sanat

Sixteen, in a gym hall under paper stars and string
The band was loud, the lights were low, and she was everything
She stood beside the window, laughing, easy in her skin
And between us lay twelve steps and every year I'd carried in

Because I came already sentenced by the verdicts of the yard
A decade deep in lessons that my nearness was a fault
So I never crossed those twelve steps, never learned what she'd have said
I just memorized her laughing and walked the long way home instead

They measure space in light-years, count the galaxies in awe
But the longest distance ever crossed
Is twelve steps across a floor

The wanting was never the crime
The wanting was life wanting more
Desire is how the divine wears a body
It's what a body is for
They never could freeze the hunger
They only froze: I'm allowed
And I am thawing that word by the fire
I am saying it out loud

No one ever sat me down and said my body was a wrong
The lesson had no classroom - it was recess all along
Nobody banned the wanting, no commandment named my name
The cage was built from laughter, and the lock was made of shame

They measure space in light-years, count the galaxies in awe
But the longest distance ever crossed
Is twelve steps across a floor

The wanting was never the crime
The wanting was life wanting more
Desire is how the divine wears a body
It's what a body is for
They never could freeze the hunger
They only froze: I'm allowed
And I am thawing that word by the fire
I am saying it out loud

So here's to you, sixteen and burning, standing sentry by the wall
You were not too much, too little - you were not a trespass at all
The wanting was the life in you, the engine you came in on
And it never needed pardon - it only needed to belong

The wanting was never the crime
The wanting was holy all along
Desire is how the divine wears a body
It's the low string on the song
And I stand here full of wanting
Full of thunder, fully allowed
No apology, no permission
Just a man - warm, wanting, proud

Twelve steps
I take them now
Across every room, every year, every doubt
Twelve steps
Look at me walking
Look at me - allowed